STASI: Seeing Melania Trump is believing we still have a First Lady - MRCAESAR.COM

Saturday, 2 June 2018

STASI: Seeing Melania Trump is believing we still have a First Lady


Ny news 
First Lady Melania Trump has been a no-show after her minimally invasive kidney surgery. (Susan Walsh / AP)
Where is Melania Trump? The missing First Lady mystery deepened on Friday when she didn’t go to Camp David with her husband, marking the 21st day she hasn’t been seen in public.
In fact she already hadn’t been seen for four days when, on May 14, the White House announced that she was being admitted to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center for minimally invasive kidney surgery.
Thing is, she stayed in the hospital for a procedure that is often done on an outpatient basis.
Then again, who wouldn’t rather stay in the hospital than go home to watch her chaotic madman of a husband taking time out from running the country to slather on ManTan, and construct that cruise missile of a combover each morning?
She finally kind of broke her silence on Thursday — Richard Simmons style — after the media began speculating about why she wasn’t joining her husband at Camp David.
(L-R) Tiffany Trump, White House Senior Adviser Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump are accompanying U.S. President Donald Trump to Camp David for the weekend. (Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images)
Melania tweeted (who knew she could take such good dictation-complete with an ever-present, ever-inappropriate Trumpian exclamation point?): “I see the media is working overtime speculating where I am & what I’m doing. Rest assured, I’m here at the @WhiteHouse w my family, feeling great, & working hard on behalf of & the American people!”
Why then didn’t the feeling-great First Lady show on Wednesday to join all those children and American people on the South Lawn for Sports and Fitness Day, nor attend the bizarre meeting that same day between her husband and ridiculous Kim Kardashian? Who would miss a one-time-only opportunity to see the country’s two biggest reality show asses in one round office?
Perhaps Melania was otherwise engaged sitting in the upstairs window like Norman Bates’ mother.
President Trump and his family went to Camp David together without the First Lady. (Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images)
What does that mean? Despite becoming numb to the dumb, White House reporters were still, er, struck dumb last Friday when one asked Donald where Melania was as he was about to board Marine One without her to attend the Naval Academy commencement.
He pointed to a White House window like crazy Bates and said, “She’s doing great. She’s looking at us right there.” But she wasn’t.
It was a true Emperor’s New Clothes moment. If the emperor says she’s there, she’s there no matter what your eyes see.
If Melania doesn’t show up in person soon, people will start speculating that she’s the Shelly Miscavige of the White House and the Richard Simmons of tall women.
In case you don’t know, Miscavige is (was?) the first lady of Scientology, who is (was?) married to its leader David Miscavige. She hasn’t been seen for 11 years.
In comparison Melania is practically as visible as well, Richard Simmons used to be.
If this mystery weren’t happening in his own throne-away-from-home, Donald, King of All Conspiracy Theories, would be all over it like stink on weed tweeting every insane looney rumor that wafted his way.
Instead, he points to an empty window and says, “She’s looking at us right there.” Weird doesn’t begin to describe it.
Somebody call Robert Mueller — quick

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